Hey, Loves!

We all have them. They’re horrible. The little voices in our heads that scream at us about how we’re not pretty enough, thin enough, strong enough, tan enough, successful enough, or intelligent enough. Man, I hate those things! And mine have been out of control lately, hence a post on how to defeat the little dingos.

Two months before my fall term started, I felt like my skin was ok but could be improved, so I started Proactiv to perfect my skin. Flash-forward by nine weeks, and my skin was coated in a thick layer of red, scaly MESS. It’s finally starting to improve because I broke down and hit up a dermatologist on my fall break, but it’s seriously messing with my confidence. People stare at me all the time. Kids, AND adults, ask me why my cheeks are so red and what happened to my skin, a face that was relatively normal just a few months ago.

It’s such a new emotion to me because I spent the entirety of my high school career teaching myself how to be confident and ignore the dingo-voices, so I definitely took a step back. That being said, I still have my methods and tips from before that helped me and are continuing to fix my confidence, so I’ll be revisiting them today and sharing them with you!

→ Other people don’t notice those insecurities half as much as you do

You’re thinking about your so much more than others do, trust me. It helps me to think about if I were another person seeing me from the outside. If your insecurity is having cellulite, pause for a moment. When you see someone in public that has it, you don’t focus in on it, you don’t think they’re ‘unfit’ or ‘gross’ or whatever negative projections you’re placing on yourself. You probably don’t even recognize it on others in the first place!

→ Tell yourself that you’re beautiful

It’s the oldest trick in the book, and I was pretty skeptical, believe me. But it works! A guy I was into a while back told me that I was pretty, and I thanked him without believing it. Then, I asked myself why. Why didn’t I find myself to be pretty or beautiful? Why did I appreciate his sentiment but didn’t believe it myself? I had no good reason, so I started changing my mindset to establish worth within myself. It was, hands down, the best self-care decision I’ve ever made. It’ll be the best one you ever make, as well.

→ Have a list of affirmations at the ready

I took a stress class in high school, and the woman who taught it talked a lot with us about how negative comments affect the brain and its pathways. Essentially, if you think a negative thought about yourself, you can’t combat it with its exact opposite (ex, ‘I’m dumb’ and ‘No, I’m smart’). The pathway is already compromised. What does work, however, and what is INCREDIBLY effective, is combating negative thoughts with different positives. For instance, if you’re down on your luck about your skin, if you think directly after, ‘I’m creative’, ‘I’m kindhearted’, or ‘I work hard and am ambitious’, your brain will LEARN TO REDIRECT that thought. You’re literally teaching yourself to compliment with ‘I’m creative’ after thinking a negative thought about your skin, and if you think that pathway enough, it’ll overcome the negative pathway and you’ll be left with a very well-developed affirmation about yourself that your brain wholeheartedly believes. How cool is that?!

So there you are. Insecurity busters for even the peskiest of little voices. Go fix those thought paths, my Ambitious Girls! I love you all! You’re beautiful, and smart, and kindhearted, and creative, and lovely, just the way you are.

Xx, B


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